If you run up to someone you think you know, and they say you’ve got the wrong guy, just turn and walk away, even if you’re completely sure who it is.

You never know who’s in a Witness Protection program or being watched by the Mob.

Customer Retention people are my newest best friends. These folks have the power to throw sweet deals at you if you ever try to cancel a service or return a product. Whether it’s with a 50% discount or 3 months free service, their only purpose is to keep your credit card on file. If you think you’re getting a bad deal on anything (and most of us are), take 10 minutes out of your day and call that 1-800* number on the back of the box.

*1-880 if you’re calling from Jamaica. You’re welcome.

Post Script:

The XM Radio call center is based in Jamaica. Portmore no less. I used up valuable international minutes (as much time spent holding as talking to someone) while calling across the street. I should have just jogged over there or asked for the dude’s cell number.

It is my hope that I make at least some sense. My rants are never clear:

We have an inherent flaw in our human make up of persistently asking the wrong questions, and then being genuinely surprised and bewildered when we get useless answers.

It’s worsened when we’re unable to discern that we have gotten useless answers and proceed to act on them.

Whether it be an inability to comprehend, or an inability to communicate, we are often times incapable of getting the facts we need to make informed decisions.

Blessed are the few who have the presence of mind to achieve a vague realisation of this. Far too often the problem is compounded by a veil of ignorance that prevents the uninformed from realising their own disadvantageous position.

This blindness to the truth is perpetrated by the deep rooted narcissism that bubbles in our loins. A self centred view of the world where everyone sees and interprets things the way we do; we, who are the keepers of knowledge and dispensers of wisdom.

The problem is hard to identify but easy to solve. We need to be seekers of truth and not its agents. Let an acknowledgement of, and a drive to dispel ignorance be our purpose. Strive for humility. If our first thought is “I don’t know” half the battle is won. Approach situations as a neophyte. Accept, even before it is proven, that what you know may be flawed or at the very least incomplete. Be open to new ideas and be explicit in sharing. Don’t force, but rather be taken in by the wave of collaboration.

Knowledge isn’t something we own, it’s something we partake in.

I’ve been mulling this over for a long time. I used to give constant thought to the probable names for the tykes I hope to have one day. The more I thought about it however, the more I realised that I shouldn’t be putting too much time and energy into this as the mother to be would surely want her two cents and would very likely veto whatever awesome names I’d conjure up. I’ve decided instead to give her the option to name the little ones as long as I get a say in what they can be, or more specifically, what they can’t. I’ve spelled out the rules below so you might benefit from my years of laboring. Following them will guarantee that with all the problems they’ll have in life, their name will never be one.

An overly common name, while not the worst thing you can do to a child, certainly doesn’t help him set himself apart in a crowd. You have to realise that there may come a time when being able to do such a thing may be desirable for one reason or another, and naming someone Dwayne, Paul or Nicole is only making the task that much harder. Putting a little thought into self identity can’t hurt, but be careful not to go too far or you may fall into the realm of…

Obviously made up and laughable names which, while certainly quashing any chance of the previously mentioned problem materializing, opens a whole new can of pretentious worms. This approach is almost never properly pulled off and always brings to mind imagery of overly stoned, drunk, or bitter parents where at least one was him or herself a victim of a glue sniffing induced naming ritual. Sometimes this can bypass hilarity and go straight into downright retardedness when the parent feels the need to give the child an…

Overly ghetto name, forever cementing their role as burger flipping, penitentiary hopping, hair “didding”, child support collecting societal burdens. Harsh, I know, but I’m sure Laquisha and Dayshown wont think so when they realise why they just can’t seem to get called for job interviews that aren’t walk-in. Why the heck would someone purposely bankrupt their kid in that way? It’s a crying shame. You’d think someone lost a bet but it’s so commonplace that the bet must have been lost near the top of the family tree and passed down through the generations. So lets say you’re not gonna fall for any of the obvious ones I’ve mentioned so far; you’re still not out of the woods just yet. Another trend growing in popularity that handicaps your child in his pursuit for a simple life is giving…

Common names with unique spellings. This is probably the biggest disservice that can be done to the mini-you. You see, unlike having an obviously uncommon name that has a inevitable inquisition that follows once it’s uttered, when a common name is heard the spelling is always assumed with no questions asked. This means a life of forever correcting forms and filling out name change applications because, as everyone knows, “Patric” has a K at the end, “Cyndi” has an I followed by a Y and Raechelle, Izick and Bayleigh are just wrong.

There are a few more minor rules to follow, I just touched on the main ones. The goal here is to not shortchange your kid and ensure that they don’t toss you into a low rate old age home when the time comes. The whole naming thing can leave someone really bitter; Take my word for it.

The following is just damn good information to have. Copied verbatim from Wired.com, this is something that could actually help you in life, unlike, say, Math.

1. Call for help.
Take the chair on the left (you’re captain now!). Put on your headset and switch on the radio. Tune it to 121.5 (the emergency channel) and push the talk button on the yoke to contact air traffic control. They’ll call an instructor to guide you down.

2. Set the autopilot.
Get navigational aids (like radio ranges) from air traffic control and input the figures on the keyboard.

3. Program your approach.
The instructor will give you a frequency, which you enter into the Instrument Landing System. The device will then pick up radio signals from the assigned runway and provide both lateral and vertical guidance (i.e., calculate the precise speed and angle of descent, usually 3 degrees). The autopilot will begin to slow down the plane — which is handy, considering if you tried and stalled you’d drop like a safe.

4. Prepare for landing.
Keep an eye on your speed (the gauge is on the left monitor). When it falls to 130 knots, flip the switch to lower the flaps, then pull the lever to release the landing gear.

5. Brake carefully.
If the brakes are engaged when you land, you’ll blow out the tires. Once you touch down, push the tops of the pedals. (The bottoms are for steering in the air.) Exhale. — Erica Westly

Lets start at the beginning, I am not a prodigal son. I have always had issues in relation to managing money and will most likely have them for some time to come. That’s what makes these words so valuable, it’s coming from a man who is himself in the trenches. You may think that a reformed spendthrift who has changed his ways for the better would be the preferred source of such life changing affirmations, but take my word; only someone who lives with the pitfalls each day can really speak to them.

If I could be granted one wish from the gods of financing it would not be for more money, but rather for keener skills in money management. I long ago ceased to gripe about salary and it has indeed been many years since I’ve last uttered any word about a raise of pay. I don’t live within my means by any stretch of the term but I’ve at least recognized that as the key to being wealthy.

The number one truth when is comes to building wealth is this: Wealth comes from the proper management of money, not the excess of it.

The facts are these: I make significantly more than I used to at my last job, and many times my salary of just a few years ago. In my attainment of what some would consider “decent” compensation, I have only managed to plunge myself further and further into debt. I’m not about to file for bankruptcy anytime soon, but the point is only to show that the increase in monetary intake doesn’t equate to a proportional increase in wealth and can in fact have the opposite effect.

Over the years I’ve made great strides in my quest to achieve financial freedom and then some. My aim is to live a life that grants me all the time in the world to sleep and eat Ox Tail (my absolute favorite dish next to ripe bananas). Again, due to my frivolous lifestyle and uninspiring work ethic, I’ve not been able to quite get there. Notwithstanding, I was clear on where and what I was trying to accomplish. Something I call Perpetual Income. In essence it is income that, from it’s mere existence, generates more income. This is something that most of us enjoy through the passive investments made in commercial banks and the like, however the generated income tends to come from a fluctuating rate which almost never goes beyond single digits percentiles. While this is the essence of the principle, for persons with less than stellar investments it may prove to be an insignificant endeavour; certainly not one that could solely maintain a lifestyle of eating and sleeping without an exchange of sweat equity. Given this, more proactive investments mechanisms are needed of which there are many. This isn’t an investment tutorial so I wont go on any elaborate analysis of the pros and cons of the different scheme. You need only understand that the right combination of investments, leveraged with a frugal, budgeted lifestyle can give you the sleepy eyed, meat devouring days and nights that I so long for.

I say again that the (somewhat obvious) advice given above is not followed by yours truly. This is a “do as I say, not as I do” moment. Had I the willpower to dispel this penchant for impulse buying and fine liquor I could very well be talking to you from the other side of the fence, but I wont let my dire situation prevent me from spreading the good word.

I’ll probably revisit this topic in the future. There’s much more to tell and I just wont sleep well at night unless I know that someone out there is doing the right thing even though I can’t. I’m off to find some Ox Tail.