Type/Size	11	11.5	12
Sneakers
Slip ons
Casual uppers
Fabric uppers
Slippers
Dress shoes
Boots

Most annoying.

It almost goes without saying that a black man in America, and for that matter black people around the world, by and large associate with the Democratic party though they are noticeably ignorant and only blindly subscribe to their policies. The simple truth of the matter is that if you really stop and think about it, blacks are much more attuned to the ideology of the Grand Old Party than to the Democratic or Libertarian stance. It was a Republican (Abraham Lincoln) that signed the Emancipation Proclamation (albeit under duress) formally abolishing slavery, Republicans support less taxes and less involvement in the day to day lives of citizens, and the laundry list goes on and on.

If blacks do indeed have the same ideals as Republicans then why do so many identify with Democrats? I believe a lot of it has to do with the GOP’s name. It sounds classist and exclusionary with a huge throwback to slavery and the Great House. All in all it kinda rubs you the wrong way. This alone couldn’t be the reason however (one would hope) and I’m sure each person could give their own story. I’m no exception.

Again, if the views of republicans line up almost purposefully with my own, then why do I trumpet my democratic status. It’s simple really; I’m a Democrat because Republicans are nonsensical and oxymoronic. If that comes off as a little too harsh then lets just say that at the very least they’re…convenient.

Their policies of less taxes and more independence come from the concept of “small government”. The idea being that citizens should not have the government interfering with there day to day lives, and should be granted certain inherent freedoms. This comes from the belief that the Free Market is a perfect, self correcting entity that will always work out for the economy’s and its citizen’s best interest. Now while there are many instances of the market healing from a scratch or a jolt, there’s zero evidence that this mantra holds true for gaping wounds. The Great Depression (1929) and The Greater Depression (2008) are both instances of the market failing horribly and in both instances the government (correctly) intervened. The idea that if left alone, the market will always (eventually) be in the right seems to be an unrealisable fantasy. None the less, this is what Republicans believe and while I disagree with it, that’s not what I have a problem with. My problem is that their idea of small government only extends as far as giving you freedoms that do not trample on their own moral judgement. The things that are personal and *should* be left to individual judgement are being governed by persons with a “I’m right, fall in line” mentality. If they believe that the government should stay out of our lives then they have no business legislating about issues such as gay marriage and abortion. Regardles of my own stance on those or any such issue, I don’t believe the impact on my own sense and sensibility gives me right or reason to impede on someone else’s decisions. In other words, stay out of their lives. Be a small government.

The moral right is highly subjective. Parents, friends, school, community and church have the voting majority in moulding your view of the world. It seems to me that Democrats realise this, and as such don’t impose their will in areas where shades of gray exist. When it doubt, let them work it out. When you start to govern with a view of not just managing the business of the country but also its moral fibre, then it’s easy to develop a school of thought that those who don’t agree with you are against you. And we’ve seen where that leads.

So I’m a Democrat because I differ morally with some beliefs of Republicans and the convenient way in which some issues require small government while others do not. My wish is that more (black) persons would pause for a minute and figure for themselves why they’re drawn to the party, though it might be too late to make sense from all the noise. With Obama in the White House, it’s pretty hard to think you need any reason beyond that.

I like unique.

I’ve been mulling this over for a long time. I used to give constant thought to the probable names for the tykes I hope to have one day. The more I thought about it however, the more I realised that I shouldn’t be putting too much time and energy into this as the mother to be would surely want her two cents and would very likely veto whatever awesome names I’d conjure up. I’ve decided instead to give her the option to name the little ones as long as I get a say in what they can be, or more specifically, what they can’t. I’ve spelled out the rules below so you might benefit from my years of laboring. Following them will guarantee that with all the problems they’ll have in life, their name will never be one.

An overly common name, while not the worst thing you can do to a child, certainly doesn’t help him set himself apart in a crowd. You have to realise that there may come a time when being able to do such a thing may be desirable for one reason or another, and naming someone Dwayne, Paul or Nicole is only making the task that much harder. Putting a little thought into self identity can’t hurt, but be careful not to go too far or you may fall into the realm of…

Obviously made up and laughable names which, while certainly quashing any chance of the previously mentioned problem materializing, opens a whole new can of pretentious worms. This approach is almost never properly pulled off and always brings to mind imagery of overly stoned, drunk, or bitter parents where at least one was him or herself a victim of a glue sniffing induced naming ritual. Sometimes this can bypass hilarity and go straight into downright retardedness when the parent feels the need to give the child an…

Overly ghetto name, forever cementing their role as burger flipping, penitentiary hopping, hair “didding”, child support collecting societal burdens. Harsh, I know, but I’m sure Laquisha and Dayshown wont think so when they realise why they just can’t seem to get called for job interviews that aren’t walk-in. Why the heck would someone purposely bankrupt their kid in that way? It’s a crying shame. You’d think someone lost a bet but it’s so commonplace that the bet must have been lost near the top of the family tree and passed down through the generations. So lets say you’re not gonna fall for any of the obvious ones I’ve mentioned so far; you’re still not out of the woods just yet. Another trend growing in popularity that handicaps your child in his pursuit for a simple life is giving…

Common names with unique spellings. This is probably the biggest disservice that can be done to the mini-you. You see, unlike having an obviously uncommon name that has a inevitable inquisition that follows once it’s uttered, when a common name is heard the spelling is always assumed with no questions asked. This means a life of forever correcting forms and filling out name change applications because, as everyone knows, “Patric” has a K at the end, “Cyndi” has an I followed by a Y and Raechelle, Izick and Bayleigh are just wrong.

There are a few more minor rules to follow, I just touched on the main ones. The goal here is to not shortchange your kid and ensure that they don’t toss you into a low rate old age home when the time comes. The whole naming thing can leave someone really bitter; Take my word for it.

“Welcome to my parlour” said the spider to the…ant.

The following is just damn good information to have. Copied verbatim from Wired.com, this is something that could actually help you in life, unlike, say, Math.

1. Call for help.
Take the chair on the left (you’re captain now!). Put on your headset and switch on the radio. Tune it to 121.5 (the emergency channel) and push the talk button on the yoke to contact air traffic control. They’ll call an instructor to guide you down.

2. Set the autopilot.
Get navigational aids (like radio ranges) from air traffic control and input the figures on the keyboard.

3. Program your approach.
The instructor will give you a frequency, which you enter into the Instrument Landing System. The device will then pick up radio signals from the assigned runway and provide both lateral and vertical guidance (i.e., calculate the precise speed and angle of descent, usually 3 degrees). The autopilot will begin to slow down the plane — which is handy, considering if you tried and stalled you’d drop like a safe.

4. Prepare for landing.
Keep an eye on your speed (the gauge is on the left monitor). When it falls to 130 knots, flip the switch to lower the flaps, then pull the lever to release the landing gear.

5. Brake carefully.
If the brakes are engaged when you land, you’ll blow out the tires. Once you touch down, push the tops of the pedals. (The bottoms are for steering in the air.) Exhale. — Erica Westly

In a world where spelling, context, and proper sentence structure is all but ignored by anyone under the age of 25, what was once the scourge of online discussion threads may be the only ones who can keep the English language alive for future generations. The Grammar Nazzi (Also referred to as Grammer Police in homage to their kin, The Spelling Police) spend a disproportionate amount of time trolling around online forums and comment threads, not learning or contributing to the collection of knowledge found therein, but rather to point out to unsuspecting posters their abysmal inability to properly wield the Queen’s idiom. Grammar Nazis are far from revered and are in fact considered by some to be one of the lowest forms on life on the internet, just above spammers and MySpace pervs. This however does not negate the value of the selfless service that they provide to the interwebz at large.

This has been a bad few years as far as language is concerned. As a devout English speaker it pains me to see my mother tongue butchered the way it has. Being monolingual, I can’t speak with any certainty about the state of any of the other 3 languages in existence, but I get the distinct impressions that English has been the martyr for everyone else. Displaying for all to see the evils of late night blogging. chatroom hijinx and the rapid decay of formal structure that follows when left unabated. It has been the endless march of the Grammar Nazis that have brought this evil to light. Standing on “Reply to this” soup boxes, they have made us realise and face the horrible truths of our lazy, grammatically incorrect ways.

There was a time when they would not have had a place in popular culture. In fact there was a time when the act itself would be fruitless. I speak of a time gone by when language was respected, and the quill was only wielded by a select few whom, I assume, had taken a blood oath to protect the words with which they welted us with the weight of their worldly wisdom. Before everyone with a random thought in their head had an avenue to present it to the world, there was no need for policing. The power resided with a select few and there was order in the world. As those days are now long behind us so too is our collective trust that sentences have proper word placement and context. Because of this we owe acknowledgment, if nothing else, to the men and women living in basements who have answered the call to correct us and be loathed for all their days.

Shun them if you must, but they are truly the heroes of the written word, champions of transcribed speech and the last line before we free fall into the never ending abyss of linguistic hell.

It’s the ubiquitous cry of the frustrated Customer Service Rep.; “The system is down”. Uttered whenever the usual clicks of the mouse and taps on the keyboard don’t give the expected results.

It has become so frequent that when a person hears it they become numb because they know that this brick wall will stop any further progress with their particular issue. The problem here is that it seems people have forgotten exactly what a system is. It’s not just the computer sitting on the desk or the server in the back room. It’s the people, resources and processes which come together to give a required result. Each entity taking something in, contributing in its own way, and passing it on until the final outcome is achieved. The proliferation of technology has led people astray. They have forgotten what comprises the fundamental elements of a system and have instead resigned to the idea that technology is the be all and end all.

A system may depend on your computer to get a particular task done, however when the computer is down the system itself should continue to function. When a customer is on the line who needs to get his business done, he shouldn’t be left without options simply because a server isn’t responding. The system needs to mitigate downtime by providing alternative routes for information flow and transaction processing.

How else can a CSR get the information that this customer needs? Can data be captured via more low tech means and then batch processed when the computers are back online? These are questions that should always be asked from the initial design phases of any system. The possibilities are dictated by your particular situation, but alternative processes should always be hard coded into any system and persons proactive with their use.

We need to have a clear separation between the system and the technology that sits below it. Technology should be an enabler for efficient delivery of your service, but it cannot be the show stopper. We have to move away from the chain design concept where a broken link renders everything else inoperable. We have to employ a methodology of ensuring communication flow regardless of the lack of availability of any single resource. That is the core of an efficient system; fault tolerance. Being able to reroute information the moment a resource is unavailable and remain operational. Before there were computers this was the norm. No one person had the combination to the safe. There was always a backup for the backup for the backup.
We have to, while still ensuring a measure of control, enable fault tolerance in our online systems the way we used to when they were driven by pen and paper. A full appreciation needs to be had by everyone involved that regardless of the circumstances the show must go on, and it has to be reflected in the polices and procedures that guide your business processes. When that happens, we’ll be that much closer to dumping the “system is down” cliche and moving on productively with our lives.

“Today’s victim of change is yesterday’s cause”

-Karl Morris

Why yes, I did quote myself. Thanks for noticing. I hope to have one such quote etched above the entrance to my tomb some day.

–

Growing up in the time that I did I had certain experiences that persons, sans those with social anxiety issues, would not find terribly unique. I played sports in the yard daily, I made kites, slingshots and paper airplanes whenever the feeling took me and I could always be found among my friends whenever I wasn’t eating, sleeping or being grounded. My peers and those before me can all relate to the above and tell tales of love, loss, disobedience and revelry as only someone who has lived it could.

The “time” of which I speak is BI (Before Internet). A now nostalgic time long before instant gratification became the order of the day. I was becoming of age on the cusp of the information age. Passing through my awkward teenage years while the [mainstream] internet was in its infancy. As such I had long before developed my views and prejudices on human interactions. I had predefined mechanisms of evaluating friendships, gathering information and simply getting by in life. This, like everything else that makes us who we are, came to be because of the surrounding influences as well as the mechanisms for those interactions that existed at the time. So as the internet came along, it served only to augment [and in many ways improve] my already inbred sense of “social”.

However, while it only augmented my development, the generation that came of age at the same time as the internet has had their earthly perceptions defined by it. To them the world is a completely different place and the rules that they play by have been given a Life 2.0 upgrade.

The virtual revolution in which we all live today has been on the horizon for a very long time, certainly predating this author and many who would care to read this. My personal exposure came in the form of Video Games. This enabled me to, for the first time, take on an avatar and for a fleeting moment leave this earthly realm and live a life of fantasy. It gave me an oh so sweet taste of Virtual Life and how much I could “accomplish” without really doing much.

This escape was short lived however as there were almost always mechanisms of control in place, aka Parents. In the beginning it was pretty hard to make a case that video games were good for anything except their entertainment value and as with anything that was purely fun and nothing else, parents would limit your exposure less you take to it like a narcotic. It was something in which you could indulge when there was nothing else to do and even then you could only do it for so long before the [seemingly unreasonable] request/order came to “turn off that damn game and go outside and play”. Notwithstanding the limitations on capabilities, function and general purpose, video games served as a very useful training exercise for what was to come. However, even with its introduction into the line-of-sight of childhood distractions, the need to be amongst friends was still paramount; so whether it was football, idle sidewalk chat or a Street Fighter tournament, you could be sure that it was a [fairly large] group activity. Virtual Life only augmented what was already in place.

Compare this to the life that kids today are privy to. Advancements in technology now allow persons to interact without having to be in the same room, building or country. Indeed, they don’t even have to be on the same planet. And while all generations make use of this, members of mine and those before me use it mainly as an outlet to expand our scope and means of communicating. Those that followed have taken it to be not just the preferred method of interacting, but many times the only acceptable one.

Meet J. On the outside J looks like any normal kid. At a glance you can probably think of someone that you grew up with that fits his general profile. 12 years old, curly hair, likes video games a little more than he should and hates homework a lot more than he should. Again, J wouldn’t strike you as outside the ordinary, and indeed he isn’t. That is, of course, if you’re comparing him to his modern day peers. Try and compare J to that kid that you grew up with and it’s going to be night and day.

When J gets home from school he immediately heads for the TV and/or video game. No great surprise there. Kids love their afternoon cartoons and the only thing they love more is trying to beat the high score that they set yesterday on the game mom just dropped $50 on. This will probably go on until a parent gets home and tells him to wrap it up. If you think back, you’ll remember that once you were told as a kid to turn the television off there really was no reason to hang around the house keeping your parents company. Your interactions were fueled by your innate need to be social and the apparent lack of virtual modes of achieving this. However that is not J’s world. When J is asked to turn off the television or video game he simply retreats to the warm, ambient glow of the family’s iMac. As you observe J you start to realise that this is his true escape, everything else including video games and seemingly every activity throughout the day, were simply distractions. Something to take up the time until all the necessary components of his Virtual Life are in place. In other words, everything else is simply to burn off the time until his friends get online. Upon his entry to this land of 1’s and 0’s J is greeted by a multitude of “friends” who in some cases form fairly complex relationship metrics with each other, and in other cases are completely oblivious to the others’ existence. This depicts one of the biggest contrasts with Real Life relationships. J is able to interact with multiple circles of friends, each with varying areas of interests, purpose and goals, simultaneously. Try to envisage this feat in a conventional social setting, say a party or a local bar. It’s practically impossible if not tiring and prohibitively expensive to do so [you'll have to buy a round or drinks for each set]. J manages to accomplish this however, without even giving a thought to the fact that this was not humanly possible only a few short years ago.

One particular group of friends that J seems to interact with more than others all belong to a group that trades “merchandise” with each other to bolster their “inventory” in an effort to have a complete set of…stuff. They then go off on some mythical quest in a multi-player video game of the sort. This scenario seems to vaguely resemble the actions of trading and card games that predated this multicolor display that J has been drawn into. I couldn’t help but wonder if the experience is as fulfilling when you don’t have to go buy gum at the corner store and cross your fingers as you peel back the wrapper or hunt down the kid that has that one card that you’re missing and try to barter on amicable terms (whatever “amicable” is to a tween) and the occasional fisticuffs when a deal goes sour.

Soon after however, you start to realise that J’s actions are just as if not more fulfilling than those that I myself embarked on once upon a time. You’re reminded that he doesn’t belong to a world that has short changed his social interactions, but rather belongs to one that has redefined how those interactions are experienced. Sure, he may never get a humbling ass kicking while defending a cause, but having received a few of those myself I’m not completely sold on that being a bad thing.

One point I should make before you even ask the question: These groups of friends that J holds so close to him are made up, for the most part, of persons he has never actually met. Yes, there are a couple schoolmates as well as the neighbour’s kids, but by and large, his social group have been defined and build virtually. Schoolmates are nothing more than that, kids he will see at school. His Real World time is spent mainly playing cricket with his father and brother in the back yard and outside of that…lets just say that this isn’t the most creative kid you’ll ever meet (not necessarily a statement on his lack of ability as much as it is on the lack of inspiration and motivation). For J, the world, or the one were he prefers to “live”, is a playgroud where be can’t feel the dirt between his toes, can’t hi-five his mate and verbal utterances are preferably expressed with LOL’s and BRB’s sprinkled throughout a text based conversation. It’s a whole new paradigm, one that you can only distinguish if you belong to another. J certainly can’t. This is his world. He came and saw it waiting for him, as if it had always been. He doesn’t, and in fact does not care to know any other way of doing things. He has developed his own mechanisms and prejudices and awaits the next evolutionary step in technology that will augment what he has come to accept as the way things are. When that time comes he will lament about how the generation being born into that new age will redefine “social”.